Life is a strange experience. The everyday is absurd and the routine is madness. It all feels so surreal and slightly skewed. It isn’t something I can quite put my finger on. It’s a feeling. A gut sensation telling me that there is something not quite right. Sounds like a premise for a movie, right? I don’t know kung fu. However, I will pilot the gunship that is my word in an uncompromising flight across this bizarre landscape. With no general heading, I will ride the thermals of serenity to find my way. At some point I will set my word down and move on. I should hope that this won’t happen for a while. As I have no idea what is in store for me, I’m going to fly eight within eight in the eye of the maelstrom.
I am a child of change. Most of those in my generation are as well. The constant flow of information through the technology we grew around reminds us, on a subconscious level, a universal truth. The only constant is change. We know this. It is proven every day. Yet we are creatures of habit. We strive for routine, with the comprehension that it won’t last. Yet we rail at the world when our routine is broken. Things break and people die. The sun gives way to the moon and the earth itself will rise up to swallow us whole. What can we do in the face of an all-encompassing force of existence? At times, I think I live on the dark side of the moon.
I used to think that to be human required a special breed of madness. Now I’ve come to realize that the essence that gives you a sense of self is not communicating with the source from which we all came. Some call it God. Some call it Mother Earth. There is an endless list of nouns that can apply to this thing. I can’t name it. I won’t name it. What I will do is open my seven gates in communion with everything around me. I have grown weary of the madness. That gnawing force that will drive humanity into a collective padded room full of material achievements. I cannot completely diverge myself from the material, considering I exist on this plane of reality. For now. Nonetheless, I can live a life linked to the wonder around me.
I have this idea. Not a belief. Not some form of dogma. An idea in the spirit of the teachings of Rufus, the 13th Apostle. This idea deals with the duality of all things. Two sides of the same coin. Some call it good and evil, which is a little elementary. Let’s use creation and destruction. These two forces are equal and opposing. Two dynamic entities of pure power that rely on each other for existence and yet constantly push against each other. A universal equation that leads my mind into a conundrum of thought. Somewhere within that struggle, lies the smallest spark of what started all of this. That minute, infinitesimal idea that multiplied upon itself exponentially and became what is.
In all of this pondering, I’ve come to realize that none of it will make any sense. That equation is unbalanced, at least to my comprehension. That might be because there is a portion of the language that I do not yet have and, therefore, I cannot understand the equation. It is always in my thoughts and colors everything I see. And, I think the lunacy that has taken hold of the humanity in the last hundred years is due to the wilful negligence of these ideas. Change, Spirituality, Truth. The forces that lie at the core of everything.
These are some of the concepts of reality that I spend time pondering. I have no idea where they will lead me or if it will mature into something other than a web log post. Yet, I feel that I must share these musings. Maybe one of you who read this will impart a piece of the puzzle. Or I might enlighten some individual. Either is fine by me. Maybe that’s why my life doesn’t seem so bleak right now. I have hope that the madness will come to an end as we shed the filth and return to the radiant essence of our humanity. I will cling to this hope for as long as I hold breath. For the day I let that go, the absurdity and madness would overtake me and swallow me whole. I would lose all that I am, and, in the event I would cease to be of any use to my family, my friends, my community, my people.